“The Devil Inside” : Movie Review : Final Grade: C

#AtTheMoviesWBKC #TheDevilInside Or is it “The Devil Within”? Doesn’t matter. Not a great or even a decent movie. Probably not even good. But I’ll give it a Straight C because it entertained for 85 minutes or so, and my expectations were exactly zero. I didn’t expect to have a favourable reaction. Expectations Management is an important and useful skill in Bigboy Life. So, I can’t say it disappointed. It had its moments. I mean what do you expect. Exorcism Horror Movie. As A Baptised and Confirmed and Intelligent Roman Catholic, I have a certain special yen for Exorcisms, a Wheelhouse if you will. (I’d sworn that term became a bit of a local meme due to its characteristic and memorable usage by a friend of mine, and, oh maybe 3 to 6 months after the meme had established this local visibility, it seems to have caught on nationwide, well, insofar as it has made noticeable penetration on reddit, far beyond what I would expect out of my unassuming little corner of the Computer World.)

This aside of The Wheelhouse Meme is certainly more interesting And Compelling (one day I would like to flesh out the signifiers of The 2 X 2 Interesting X Compelling Matrix) than this movie, which, in relation to other recent Exorcism movies, I’d probably place below “The Last Exorcism”. (Paranormal Activity 3 had a Demonic Possession, but it, at least as far as I can remember, lacked any Religious Exorcism element. And I’m not sure the priest in “Last Exorcism” was a Catholic, but I’m also not 100% sure that Catholics have 100% Possession (hahahahaha) on Exorcisms.) Although it may have made some press maybe 10 years ago that the Church Founded By Christ (1 billion and growing; for the record I do officially like this “Catholics Come Home” marketing campaign you’ve seen in TV commercials; very classy; Church, if you’re listening, I could do d*mn good Bigboy Work (i.e., paid) on this. Although the Church is probably not responsible for making these ads, they certainly are paying for and approving them, so if you have some kind of Church Office, I’m Your Man, I’m baptized and confirmed, see above.)

But enough about me, this isn’t a BLOG, it’s a TweetLonger; although, this may become a pseudoblog as I might (or might not!) work my way back to Official Blogsmanship. And I would be p155ed if TwitLonger’s Servers delete this “post” after 10 years or whenever. Disk Space Is Cheap and Getting Cheaper, SON.

Pros of the movie: R Rating allows it to get bloody and supercreepypasta if needs be. There were some good contortions, some good blood, only insofar as “good” means “average” or “mediocre”, and thus, more-or-less ok. Decent exorcism/possession premise, the first half is pretty well-paced.

Then it jumps the shark but not until about 57% of the way through; again, expectations management. I expected more like 20% given so many terrible reviews when I clicked on the Moviefone link when searching showtimes just to get an estimate of how many bad reviews there were, and there were alot.

I’ve already written too much. Anyway I actually liked how the movie became about more than just the Possessed Woman….although the execution of this expanded scope was a bit choppy and hamhanded and poorly-paced and not credible and is very related to the shark-jumping. I’m not sure if I could call the filmmakers “overly ambitious” because they had to have known this was the type of movie that is going to be quickly forgotten (But the really pathetic part is, for every bigger budget exorcism movie that actually makes it to theatres, there are probably 9000 even worse straight-to-dvd ones.) (And this leads me to an important question which I will not attempt to answer here: to what degree can Money Buy Writing and Filmmaking Talent?)

Eventually I ended up liking the two priests more than the Ab0rti0ned-up Wh0r3. Unfortunately, the priests became caricatures after starting out pretty….well, if not caricatured, then definitely more likeable. But maybe this is a function of you just not knowing them enough, i.e., the talentless hacks hadn’t had enough time yet to ruin them.

But I don’t make movies for a living, to get to that point involves a lot of hard work which I’m just not willing to do, especially if the big payoff is, you get to be the guy who made “The Devil Inside.” However I’m sure he’s a very nice guy, and if he wants to give me a (Paid) (Bigboy) Job, I’d be the last to stop him.

Yes the ending was rushed.
Anyway, it seemed the film actually took place in Rome, or it least pretended to take place in Rome, so, props for that.

The Mockumentary, I argue, is STILL a GREAT vehicle for horror, and no matter how many will botch it, I am hopeful that, sooner or later, someone else will come along and do it right again. This one pretended to be a more “professionally-edited” mockumentary, with intercuts of Professors and Priests with captions declaring their fake names and credentials; as opposed to say, the Paranormal Activities, which suggested a minimum of postproduction on the fake film footage. No real point here, this film would have been just as Mediocre if it were more “underproduced.” Probably it was just a way for them to try and differentiate from the most recent Horror Mockumentary and say they weren’t Ripping It Off. Not that they were!

I wonder if it was a Hat Tip to “The Exorcist” when they have the possessed people call the priest “f*gg*ts” or have the demon refer to its possessed body as a “pig”, or maybe I’ve just seen “The Exorcist” 63,753 times, (….”and it keeps on getting funnier, every single time I see it!”) (Hahahaha that’s a Film Reference, it doesn’t get Funnier, it just gets more and more solidly immortalized in my Short List of Desert Island movies, though).

OK I gotta go write cover letters. Although I’m gonna really try not to. HAVE A NICE DAY! http://tl.gd/f7l52n ·

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