Anger is associated with men moreso than with women. If any emotion were “allowed” to men, it would be anger. Allowed, but not approved. While anger is seen as immature and violent (why does anger NEED to be “violent”?) and ineffectual and unjustified, it’s still more “manly” and “strong” than feeling weak or sad or lonely or afraid. Then you’re just a weak f4gg0t who can’t stand up for himself and get things DONE and Own Your Sh!t and Be Accountable for your actions.
There is “justified” anger – the righteous indignation you feel when you witness true injustice. And then there is “unjustified”, immature, “little boy” rage that you may feel when you don’t get Your Way.
Men who want to be Heterosexual with women – and many men do – but who fail miserably, never really getting what they want, may be initially attracted to Game, as it seems to teach them a skill to fulfill a rather immediate, pressing, serious want.
Full-Blown, Self-Identified MRAs and MGTOWs are GENERALLY more attuned to Structural Injustices and broader societal and historical trends of Misandry, than are some of the more myopic students of Game, who seemed to be obsessed with Young Tail even more than I am, or at least voice little concern over anything BUT Young Tail.
I fully understand and empathize with the “little boy rage” of the Gamers, and would like to remove the shaming and stigma attached to this “lesser” form of anger. While I don’t think being angry about “not being able to get laid” has the same level of seriousness as being angry about men’s LIVES being DESTROYED on the job, on the battlefield, or in the family courts, I think Anger-over-Sexual-Rejection still has significantly more legitimacy than its detractors claim.
There is a ton of shame heaped on Betas. Lots of patronization. Not just from Feminists who think Game is Misogynist, but from Regular Women who think Betas (and Game itself) are creepy (“Creepy” will almost certainly be a future post, hahaha), to male game-deniers who see all Game-Readers as short-sighted Pv$$y-Beggars, to the Alphas the Betas idolize. Shame, like Anger, CAN be a good motivator, but too much of it can be destructive. The “best” is when you get shamed for BEING angry, because you’re “too angry”, and for the “wrong reasons”. Methinks the Shamers have never experienced Intense Anger and how debilitating it can make one. When you are really really Angry, you are no good to no one. You can’t get anything done. Nothing. So yeah I guess I can understand how Anger gets portrayed as a pathology.
Rambling in circles again. Is it because I’m too angry? Maybe. I do often struggle with anger, and I can attest that it can become overwhelming and not productive or motivating or usable.
For example, it’s valid, understandable, and even “reasonable” to feel anger when you are rejected, taken advantage of, or simply don’t get what you want. I think framing it as “little boy rage over not getting what the little baby wants” is a STRAWMAN, because even a little child is far less angry for far less time when his parent says “no ice cream for you!” than when one person rejects another. That’s a difference in KIND as well as in degree: The next day the child is no longer mad about the ice cream, probably because he knows he will have ice cream again soon anyway, and it will be sweeeeeeet. Being rejected by another person is a bit like being told you’re just not good enough as a person, and you never will be. That kind of Stings more than the ice cream, especially if your interest was anything more than just purely sexual, for example infatuation, or you’d deluded yourself into thinking you respected them as a person.
I argue men are, on the average, much MUCH more intimately familiar with this kind of rejection and disappointment than are women. If women had to put up with as much rejection and failure and disappointment and loss as did men, they might be killing themselves in equal proportion to men rather than just dramatically attempting suicide for show.
Of course, a moody depressed woman will still have much more access to the potential pleasure of sex than a moody, depressed man! Note: I am NOT suggesting that moody depressed women go out and have lots of sex, because that will still make you a whore. Go to a shrink, preferably one who believes in “right” and “wrong.” Yes, this may very well be a privilege not available to you. In that case, you can still Notpray All Day to some sort of Nogod. That is likely to have a positive effect if you do it enough. Try repeating this mantra to yourself as many times throughout the day as you need: “Lord Nogod, please help me. Please give me strength to get through this day, and have mercy on my nosoul.” Over and over and over again.
So my point before I got angry was, Rejection sucks and can lead to great anger and instead of getting support and compassion, men are shamed for their anger and just pushed deeper into anger, and then if they “snap” and do something violent, then people conclude that anger ALWAYS CAUSES to violence, anger IS violence, and other nonsense. Its one of those Nuanced Arguments where the Nuances can get too easily confused. I can see how and why people confuse Anger and Violence. But I think that’s a grave miscalculation. A Serious Miscorrelation.
Anger for being Rejected by your Wife and separated from your kids and taken to the Cleaners and Living The Rest of your life in Debtor’s Prison is much, much worse than anger for getting rejected by Cute Young Girls for Sex. But I wonder if some of those in the second group don’t eventually become part of the first group. It’s their own damn fault, though, for being Gameless Betas and letting people walk all over them, isn’t it? True, they have SOME responsibility for that, but I’d place at LEAST 70% of the blame upon the person who does the walking-on. They should really know better.
I recall reading a comment thread somewhere – I know Alek Novy was involved – either at Heartiste or AVfM, where someone did a Venn Diagram of MRA and Game proponents. This might have been during the dust-up of MRA “vs” Game when Paul did his “Chateau Bullsh!t” article and related radio show. I was kinda provoked at that time, and I was a little disappointed in Paul, because I, the bridge-builder, enjoy BOTH AVfM AND Heartiste. Was that because I was a YOUNG man, or at least young enough that my Hormones were raging enough for me to be Obsessed with Young Tail? (But: I can feel myself getting Old, and I am STILL obsessed with Young Tail!)
I’m too lazy to go back and find exactly what was said, but I’d place myself in the intersection of that Venn Diagram. I started out on Game, but then I “graduated” to MRA and MGTOW, however I never fully abandoned Game either. Right now I’m trying to do a synthesis of the entire thing. I want Young Tail AND I want fairness for men in the courts, in society, in the media, and I’ll throw a Mantrum if I don’t get what I want!!!
The good news is that we can Bounce Back from rejection, dust ourselves off and try again as the saying goes; what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, etc etc. I’ve never been a big fan of platitudes but sometimes they’re true. Except when they’re false, except when what doesn’t kill you just makes you weaker and weaker and then eventually the straw breaks the camel’s back, you get a flat tire and then you fall into a psychotic crying weak beta heap in the middle of the street like Crazy Old Nietzsche defending the poor abused horse hahahahaha. But seriously folks. Facing Adversity and Rejection and Just Keeping Living can be a great character-builder, I firmly believe. It makes you a better person, and that’s better than the Hottest Young Tail!
Or is it?
Game, as I view it, isn’t some complicated, esoteric set of routines, and it’s certainly nothing new that was invented as a solution to the “new problem” of Feminism-Empowered Entitled “Average Modern Western Women”. It’s simply charisma and confidence. Good social skills. No big “Mystery” there, hahahahaha. However, it is surprising How MANY Men have Such Below Average Social Skills. Unless, of course, the True Average is NOT to mate. The Real Average is to Have Social Skills So Crappy you’re Unable To Pull Tail. And it may be true (heh, “weasel words”) that, in the Environment of Evolution, 80% of Males died without leaving heirs, and 20% of males – the true alphas – spread their seed among harems of many, many women, and we are the legacy of those very few men combined with those multifarious women. The vast majority of men died alone, angry, afraid, and absolutely Young Tail-less, and so too will they today. Alone and afraid often go hand-in-hand with angry. And Tail-less.
“Mmm-hmm! That just goes to show you WHY anger is sooooo BAD! You push others away with your insecurity!”
I admit I do have a Pet Peeve for Women who Give Advice. 100% of the time – even more of the time than Most Women ARE “Like That” – even when A Woman gives WELL-INTENDED advice – it comes across as Patronizing and is ultimately less than useless – it’s insulting and angering. Especially when it’s Women advising you on Anger, or How To Change Yourself To Be More Attractive to Women. How about you just STFU because you have NO idea and your opinion is Stupid and Naive and Immature and Insecure and Deluded. The person who does NO Work telling the person who does ALL the work how they should Work Better. Give me a break. How about not being such an Obnoxious B!tch.
Times like that, I will get angry enough to use the B Word!
If Bouncing back from Rejection builds character, and women get rejected far, far less than men, does it follow that women on average have much less “character” than men? I wouldn’t necessarily say that. You can be privileged and Unrejected and still not be an a55 about it! For example, I am the textbook definition of a Privileged White Male, and I try never to forget it. (Yes, I’m aware that much of MRA is about pointing out how Male Privilege is not much of a Privilege. I’m just speaking in terms of personally having a Good Family and Opportunities for College and Career Success. I take full blame/accountability for all the mistakes I’ve made in my life which have brought me to the lowly status I’m at now.)
Men generally place higher value on Honor and Respectability and Morality and Ethics than Average Modern Western Women (AMWW). You can Respect your biological privilege/power of being able to choose your desired mate exactly by not choosing every possible mate and sampling the Schlongasbord during your halcyon days. This is just as “creepy” as George Sodini in a Trenchcoat walking down the street and whipping his Dong out and jerking-off with a big leer to every woman he sees.
Violence is Inherently Wrong. Anger is NOT inherently wrong. Anger does not CAUSE violence or even necessarily LEAD to violence. I argue a very specific combination of anger, ignorance, and evil/immorality leads to violence. (Yeah I WILL break out the “E” word!) Shaming the Angry as Potentially Violent is just a way to make their legitimate concerns appear illegitimate. This is very low-down, dishonest, dishonorable and disrespectful, and We Don’t Like It.
Those men who do have individual Sexual Frustration IN ADDITION TO “More Valid Anger” about The Broader Issues are in a particularly precarious Shame Triangle, because their opponents will say they’re JUST/MERELY Little Boys Angry That They Can’t Get Laid but they’re too Stubborn and Arrogant to Think “Gee The Common Denominator Here Is Me, Maybe It’s ME who needs to change”, etc etc ad nauseum.
So should those who DO have Sexual Frustration Go Out Of Their Way to DENY they have ANY Anger over that?
I don’t think so.
But I am currently wrestling RIGHT NOW with the notion that the tasteless “jokes” I sometimes make on Twitter wrongly make MRA’s Look Like Women Haters and Women-Violencers. And I do not want to do that to My Brothers. It could be like handing Our Heads to Feminists on a silver platter, and I definitely don’t want to do that, no matter how much I personally enjoy and laugh at Horrible, Evil Jokes about everything from Raeping Women to Gassing J3ws to Eating Babies to Molesting Children to Enslaving and Lynching Blacks, etc.
The best I can PROMISE you right now is that I will try not to make “hateful”, evil jokes every single day, or without a great deal of Thought behind them. Serious, Blogworthy Thought.
But I will NOT promise to not say crude things like “I’ll only b4ng a fat girl if she’s 23 or younger and has a young-looking face and skin.”
I’m honestly flexible on this. I suppose if an MRA I really respected, like Uncle Bern or Barbarossaaaa, messaged me “Stop making childish jokes, it makes us all look bad, it paints us all as violent idiots and sets the whole MRM back”, then I probably would stop.
I’m not gonna lie, when I was listening to the April 2012 AVfM show “All MRAs Are Privileged, Angry White Cis Men” (not exact title; but great show as always!) I was thunderstruck when they announced the next caller was Barbarossaaaa. I cheered like my favourite sports team made a huge win. He’s one of my favourite MRAs and I’d not-so-secretly hoped he’d be a guest on AVfM one day, and I was/am really happy when I learned he was on a May Episode of AVfM’s new News/Activism show with James Huff & Robert O’Hara. I just didn’t know he had called in to one of AVfM’s other episodes at an earlier time. But it only makes SENSE. All of AVfM’s radio shows are great. I had taken a little hiatus from listening for a few months and I’m glad I stopped that hiatus.
While I do enjoy the Diversity of Opinion and Fierce Independence of MGTOWs, I also enjoy seeing a group of the strongest voices get together and talk. There was a very nice Espirit De Corps when I heard John, Girl, Typhon, and Barb conversing. Naturally in my Fantasy MRA All-Star Radio Show I add Bern and Heartiste to the conversation.
I realize this is pretty far from my starting topic of Anger, but honestly this post got off to a rough start, hahahahaha.
(I will NOT stop saying “hahahahahahaha” even if it sounds “Unprofessional” or “Unserious”, because even though We Are A Serious Movement, I and probably most other men appreciate a sense of humor, and it can be hard to convey a light tone through Sarcasm, or if your Jokes are bad, so I simply say “hahahahahahaha” not as a way to say “don’t take us seriously” but as a way to say “don’t take LIFE so seriously, have a sense of humor sometimes, or you’ll turn into a famously frumpy humorless feminist.” Hopefully everyone has had the experience of having at least one Friend in their lives (usually male!) who always comes across as cheerful, who always puts you in a better mood just by being around them, who is often laughing at their own jokes even if they’re not particularly funny, but not in an arrogant “I’m smarter than you” way, because he always laughs at everybody’s jokes, and improves the lives of everyone around him. I would like to be That Guy. A Real Good Guy Greg. At least with this blog. Since I naturally have a habit of being Debbie Downer in Real Life.)
This blog is a work in progress. Right now I see myself as “practicing” writing, so I don’t – and “The Readership” SHOULDN’T – expect it to be real good at the moment. I haven’t written blogs in a long time. I’m not entirely sure where this one is going to end up, but I know that I DON’T want it to turn into me whining Too Much like an Emotional Beta about my Personal Failures. However I DO feel a need to address my personal emotions to SOME extent, and it’s challenging finding the ideal balance there. But I will TRY to tie them in with Men/Manosphere/MRM. Because I do think it would be short-sighted to claim that powerful emotions such as Infatuation and Anger have NO RELEVANCE to Men. These emotions can be Bad if we don’t Manage them, but they’re not INHERENTLY bad and should NOT be ignored, denied, or shamed.
And regarding SHAMING, I just wanted to say that Slut-Shaming is FAR more appropriate and effective than Beta-Shaming. Betas are inherently more respectable and honorable than Sluts. Betas are not going around with the trenchcoat exposing themselves to every woman they see. Betas are simply trying and repeatedly failing to get a little action for once in their foreveralone lives. Betas need support, encouragement, help, and yes platonic LOVE from other men who have been there, not scorn and shame from Alphas Who Now Pound Piggish Pv$$y but were once whining, pathetic Beta Virgins themselves.
I’m all for Tough Love and Trial By Fire, but I think a little more Soft Love and a lot less Scorn and Shame from MEN towards OTHER MEN would be pretty damn helpful.
And, Sexual Frustration is Valid Frustration and, in generally, Women should just STFU about it and stop trying to give “advice” or commentary because it’s just obnoxious and annoying. Far more so than my tasteless joke tweets.
Things are gonna be a little disorganized and focused and scattershot around here in the start, so just expect that. However I DO expect my writing/this blog to Get Better in the Medium-Term future. Just Gimme 3 Months, hahahaha.
I was listening to AVfM Radio “Telling the truth about boys” show and the show closed with a very relevant and powerful remark from Typhon Blue: LISTEN to your anger. When Paul asked her what advice she would give to boys on how to educate and train them for The World Of Women, for which Media and School and Society and even well-meaning Families do not fully prepare them. Listen To Your Anger. Your anger is an alert system telling you that something’s WRONG, and you would be smart to believe it. Use your anger to help you find what’s wrong and then try to solve that problem or protect yourself from it. Don’t ignore it, don’t think it’s a false flag. More likely that not, your anger is your Gut telling you that something IS wrong and unjust and potentially harmful. So don’t get harmed. Protect yourself and know that you are WORTH protecting. Don’t let your Hormones steer you into sacrificing your self-respect, integrity, and safety.
Very often we think of Logic Versus Emotion, as if they are Enemies, and Logic must Conquer Emotion every time (Well, I often leap to that conclusion!) but the bottom line is that both Logic AND Emotion can serve us well when balanced properly. A little Anger can save our lives. A little Infatuation can bond us to a mating partner and help us stay Faithful. But you have to have Logic to know when you’re getting a Raw Deal. Like Barbarossaaaa says, men are pretty good at knowing when they’re getting a deal and when they’re getting screwed. The problem is when men keep going back to get screwed, even when deep down they KNOW they’re getting screwed, because their emotions overcome their logic.
I do think the current “rift” in which people are taking issue with Rocking Mr E’s MRA+ is a little bit overblown and it will blow over. I agree partially with RME that Love Between Men and Women CAN exist and can be a beautiful, positive emotion, but I also agree with Barbarossaaaa and Stardusk that Women are predisposed to be more selfish than men and that the odds are stacked against men and to Bet On Love is a Fool’s Errand and that even if you have it good, things could go very bad overnight and you could be permanently screwed, so Know The Risks, and most of the time, the Risk Isn’t Worth The Reward. But RME is a great guy so let’s not pile-on him, hahahahaha.
I find it amusing and somewhat discouraging that MRA/MGTOW YouTube videos are filled with comments with MRA’s arguing viciously with each other over religion, politics, race, how selfish are women naturally, game, relationships, and people become Internet Tuff Guys even worse than I do. I could understand if they were ridiculing a Feminist Troll, but I think, in general, MRAs should give other MRAs a little more slack & be more civil and laugh away any personal disagreements because, at the end of the day, as MRAs, as Men, we have a LOT more in common than we don’t.
Attractive Women have a Moral Obligation to know they are Attractive and to act respectfully with that power, and their Parents have a Moral Obligation to Teach them how to do that.
Leonard Cohen is a tremendous, inspiring, beautiful, transformative, transcendent man.
Black MRAs are Powerful!
PS: I’ve always been wary of Comments, because I hate being criticized! It sounds too much like the Wimminly Advice I described above. When I leave comments, it’s not usually to troll, and usually to give support to the writer. If I disagree with anything they said, then I will say it as nicely as possible. If my disagreement is really significant, then I just won’t say anything at all, as more likely than not, our ideological differences will not be settled by any amount of arguing. If the difference of opinion annoys me enough, I’ll just stop reading the blog.
Basically this me saying that if I get a comment I don’t like, I’ll delete it. Especially if it’s a Wimminz saying something annoying and pedantic and advicey.
Not that I anticipate a lot of comments. I don’t WANT a lot of comments!
What if anger-as-an-alert-system is just trying to tell us that our Anger Itself is misplaced? That our alert system is Broken, like a Little Boy who doesn’t get his Ice Cream and then gets really really angry for days and weeks and months and years? Well then you can get a whole lotta Xanax and just say “OKAY” passively whenever women withdraw their S3x from you so they can give it to More Alpha men.
LATER EDIT: just ignore this, I’m rambling about Caffeine and Leonard Cohen and no MRA stuff, hahahahahaha. I may end up deleting this because Being A Big Leonard Cohen Fan is something that I am easily Real-Life-Identifiable as.
I enjoy writing every day but sometimes the stuff does not really warrant a new post as it is not really on any topic. Or it may be related to the last topic. Or I just don’t want to have a new post. Like today, where I simply wanted to express Thanks and Gratitude to The Cosmos (hehehe) for having a day off and doing absolutely nothing but sleeping, drinking a nice mix of Iced Tea + Diet Mt Dew, a little modification of The Arnold Palmer which I do not have a name for yet. Normally I get up early and drink a lot of coffee all day long. With the sudden blessing of being able to sleep, I have indeed slept, and avoided Coffee for about 30 hours, unheard of. Took a Tylenol to assuage a small headache, but nothing excruciating. Still a sense of being tired and having no energy though. This is nothing new, so usually I Chug An Ocean of Coffee to make myself do what I need to do during the day. But with nothing to do, a First World Privilege if there ever was one, I decided to “detox” from Coffee for a few days while I had that luxury. I did not find a wave of energy in its place, rather, I just slept ALL DAY and went to bed at 6pm. On This, Day 2 of “vacation”, I still felt tired after a full night of sleep. So I “broke down” and got a little caffeine in the form of the “Super Arnold Palmer.”
And this has absolutely nothing to do with Men’s Rights. I was thinking about making a Second Blog for non-Men’s Rights things.
I have always been a big Tom Waits fan and also a big Leonard Cohen Fan. To me, these Singer-Songwriters deserve just as much recognition as “the mainstream” gives Bob Dylan. I don’t hate Bob Dylan, he just comes in at – at most – third place here. Usually I had always ranked Waits above Cohen, but these days I’m finding I’m ranking Cohen above Waits. Going back and listening to all the Cohen albums I’d not given enough attention: “Recent Songs,” “Death of a Ladies Man”, “Various Positions”, “New Skin for the Old Ceremony”, actually, a good 40% of Cohen’s Oeuvre I’m not as familiar with as I should be. All this is probably brought on by Cohen’s new 2012 album “Old Ideas”, which may just be Classic Cohen. The big problem with Bob Dylan is his inconsistency. If every album he made was as good as “Blonde on Blonde” or his first 4 or 5 albums, then he wouldn’t be at such a distant third place for me. Not that I’m crapping on Dylan’s newer albums either. His old-man voice sounds great. I guess Cohen just speaks to me more personally, and even his “inconsistent” albums are growers. Maybe it has to do with him taking at least 4 years between each album.
And I’ve never been a fan of Lyrics for some reason, I just rarely pay attention to lyrics. Maybe it’s my pessimistic view of musicians, and I don’t think they should try to be “poets” too. Pick one or the other because you can’t possibly be good at both. Obviously I don’t feel this way about Cohen. What I really like is how the first verse of lyrics starts off real simple and straightforward and even banal, but then as the song unfolds, he blows that theme wide open and says something spine-chillingly profound, but still related to the foundation he sets in the beginning. The first song on “Old Ideas” def does this. Maybe even “Hallelujah” or “Suzanne” arguably.
So I’m thankful I “discovered” that new album “Old Ideas”, it got me back on a pretty serious Cohen kick. I’d like him to live forever and keep making new albums, but really we’re fortunate to get this one, it was uncertain whether he would ever make an album of new songs after “Ten New Songs.” And he’s 75 or 76. Anyway I hope he lives to 120 and makes a dozen more albums. I was also clued into a recent live album called “Songs From The Road” (classic Cohen album title eh?) which was released after the magnificent “Live In London” and features that same Hot Band. (Many of which have been playing with Cohen since the 70s!) But included some songs which were noticeably missing from LiL, namely, “Avalanche”, “Famous Blue Raincoat”, “Chelsea Hotel”, “The Partisan”, and, possibly my favourite, “Waiting for the Miracle.” I’ve never disliked that song but until I heard this live version I wouldn’t think of putting it on the same level as those previous songs. This Version gives the song the treatment it deserves, really breathes new life into it.
Back in the Day I preferred Old Cohen to New Cohen because it sounded more Organic and I thought he sounded better with the Old Bob Dylan style production of just a man and a guitar. When he incorporated a band, it was often overproduced, to my ears, in a “Cheesy 80s” sense, and was a bit off-putting. Live In London and Songs From The Road present a full-band approach to the material that is much more timeless, giving me a new appreciation for the stuff that may have “suffered” with a “dated” production on the studio versions. Of course now I can go back & listen to those albums and they sound fine. But it’s also amazing how a guy with a reputation for being an “intimate singer-sognwriter” can put on such a great live show with band.
And now I’m reminded of the semi-recent “Isle of Wight” live album which was pulled out of the vaults, and that was Solid too. That was no more recent than about 1974 (checked: 1970), close to his “Live Songs”, his first official Live Album, early 70s. Those sounded great too. I guess the man can do absolutely no wrong in my opinion.
Heh. So my “underrated” Cohen Songs Of The Moment Are:
“Waiting For The Miracle” (live 2010ish)
“Tennessee Waltz” (included on 2004ish album “Dear Heather”, but a live track recorded in 1990s I THINK)
“Sing Another Song, Boys” (included on Songs Of Love And Hate but clearly a Live recording from early 70s, proving, as on “Live Cohen”, he still put on a Sick Show back then)