Heh. One part of that title may be more relevant than the other. Work In Progress. General Rules of Thumb: Approx 1,000 Words Per Post. (May change to 1,200.)  Write 10 Drafts In Advance If That’s What It Takes, just Break It Up. Now I don’t really CARE if people read this – in fact, I’d rather have LESS people read it than more, considering it is CAREER POISON/CANCER/SUICIDE; BUT I do want to Hone All The Valuable Skills I possibly Can, and IF I were to become a Freelance Writer, it would BEHOOVE me to keep the posts closer to 1,000 words than 3,000 words, simply because No One wants to read Huge Long Posts. I shy away from watching 20 minute + videos on YouTube, I would shy away from reading 3,000 word articles. Just say what you want to say. You can “still” absolutely make it funny, just break it up some. Spread it out. I used to post 10,000 word posts once a week, thinking it was a Big Occasion; in reality, no-one, not even me, wants to read a 10,000 word post, even when it’s About me, hahahahahaha.

Also, some WordPress Help File recommends to use no more than 10 Tags per post. So I’ll try that. I’ve been using more tags than abs necessary, thinking it will Increase My SEO. Maybe I AM trying to Gain Readers, that’s not really the point. The Point is Helping Men, Crushing The Arguments Of and Shaming FemiFascist Pigs, and being Funny, without being Cutesy Internet Faux Nerd Girl Funny. Good and Proper Alpha Man Funny. Not Man Show Lamestream Media Misandry Funny, just str8 up old school classic undeniable timeless Trendkilling funny. Not Gurrrrrrrrrrrllllllllllllllllllllssssssssssss talking like thissssssssssssssssssssssssssssss with Self-Photos and Skrillex and puking rainbows and kitties and Steampunk Cthulus (HT: Guy I Used To Know Whose Blog I Still Read!) That’s what I mean when I say “Girly” Qua Funny Comedy.

About 700 words left. When I have a SERIOUS topic I’d like to give SERIOUS analysis to, that should take 1,000 words focused on that one thing alone. Like a laser. But I can talk for 650 Words about Doom Metal, Absolutely. At LEAST.

SKEPTICISM of Finland is a Pioneer of the Funeral Doom genre, starting in the early 90s, around the same time as THERGOTHON. I have this “Theory” that the Music We Discover from ages… say 5th grade to 16th grade leave the biggest impact on us and our lives and shape 99% of our Musical Tastes For Life, and, like it our not, this will be our favourite music. Every so often I’ll “discover” some music, and say, I wish I would have listened to less X and more Y back in those days, I would have liked to have a deeper connection to what is probably “Better” Music, or have it be magically osmosisally influential to my own Music-Making Artistic process.

Anyway I DID listen to Skepticism during Those Formative Years, so that’s probably why I still enjoy them so much. I DID have a big Doom Metal period before I entered my “current” Black Metal period, and now I’m revisiting Doom once again. And maybe even One Day I’ll have a Death Metal phase, indeed, I’m appreciating some Solid Death Metal right now too. Mainly Incantation. Old-School Stuff with tons of Integrity and Atmosphere. Whether it’s Black, Doom, Or Death, “Atmosphere” is the thing that ties all my favourite Metals together. Skepticism’s got it; Burzum’s got it.

Skepticism used to be very private, never releasing their names or photos, kinda like what Drudkh did later. (Although we’ve since discovered Who the guys in Drudkh are.) Around 2008ish, around the time of “Alloy”, during the time when I was Avoiding Metal, Skepticism had their Coming Out, and started playing Shows regularly. At first I was shocked, but now I’m happy and thankful. I would LOVE to see Skepticism Live. That would be a SICK show. I enjoy watching the Youtube vids.

What is their Hook? How do they Add Value? Differentiate? They have the “tribal” sounding drums due to playing with Felt Beaters rather than sticks. This gives a big epic echoey Timpani sort of sound as well as a “old-school ceremonial” thing. Very Solemn. I like lots of Solemnity in my Doom. Doom is very varegiated, if you look at people’s Top Doom Albums list, you’ll see more Stoner/Weed Sabbath Style Doom than Funeral Doom. Though I love Sleep, I prefer the Slow Solemn Funeral Doom. They probably still smoke tons of W33d, they just don’t blatantly worship it in their lyrics or themes. There will often be an Open High Hat being hit once every couple of seconds to create the slowest tempos imaginable. That’s my area of expertise. It HAS to have a rhythm or beat though, it HAS to have that impossibly slow but regular High-Hat (like the Hands Of Death’s Clock Slowly Ticking Towards Your Imminent Doooom!), and it CANNOT be “formless” Sludge with No Beatkeeping, eg Stephen O’Malley I’m Lookin At You. No disrespect but I just can’t get into that stuff. I need a beat, however slow it may be. In fact, the slower the beat, often is the better the Funeral Doom.

Skepticism has Solid, Non-W33d-worshipping stuff, solemn, atmospheric, Drenched in Nature and Foresty Atmosphere like a Scand Black Metal Band, but they have that Offbeat Not-QUITE-Scandness that comes with being from Finland and Not Sweden. Or at least that my racist mind associates with Finland vs Sweden. They’re not quite as slow as I hinted at above, plus the beats have less High-Hat emphasis, but they’re still plenty slow, slow enough to be called Funeral Doom. The Church Organ doesn’t hurt either.  I like that they are pretty much First Wave funeral doom. And that they are Normal-Looking Mid-Thirties Finns with Short Hair and No Tattoos. Just Normal Average Everymen, probably Hard-Working stiffs with Children, hopefully not being Raeped in Finnish Family Court. I’m def intredasted in the State of Finland, specifically: its Metal and Culture and Politics and its Modern Westernism and comparing it to, especially, its interesting neighbours of Scandinavia and more Eastern European /formerly Communist states. What Differentiates Finland and makes them Unique Modern Finland? How bad is their Feminism and Socialism? My initial Feeeeling is that they are not as “far gone” as Sweden/Norway and keep it a bit more Real, but I could be proven wrong. I never met any real-life Finns. (Other than when I meekly said “Hi” to the drummer of SENTENCED 10 years ago during one of their few US tours – now gimme a minute to get rid of all these excess 18-year-old girls storming my Harem to get a brush with My Brush With Fame; I cap The Harem at 50 Girls, and they have to be no older than 18 and no lower than 8.8;)

To wrap up: Skepticism is Probably my Favourite Funeral Doom band, over Thergothon (ThergPros: great classic songs; cons: sorta unhelpful production; not as much of quantity OF quality as the much longer-lived Skepticism), over Mournful Congregation (haven’t fully listened to their discog, or for long enough of my life, but “The Waterless Streams” is my (Non-Formative-Years) Song Of The Month May 2012), over disEMBOWELMENT (IMHO “better” than Thergothon; possibly just as important as Skepticism; but I wouldn’t call them “FUNERAL” doom to the same degree as Skep, hahahaha. But they are Slooow, AND they are classic/timeless/legendary and Absolutely Essential for any fan of non-ridiculous True Doom.) I would almost like Skepticism to be more “f4ggy” with flowery (metal-flowery at least, I’m actually thinking of Mournful Congregation’s more “soaring” Iron Maiden Leads) Epic Guitar Harmonies or something, but they don’t really NEED to be, and being Primitive and Minimalistic is part of what makes them Skepticism. Besides shaping my concept of Funeral Doom, Skepticism has also shaped my concept of Finland. Funeral Doom is IMHO the Purest Form of Doom and should wrestle the power away from more ridiculous “Stoner” Doom. That’s kind of a unspoken understanding, SOMEWHAT like if Bob Marley wrote ALL his songs/lyrics about “partaking ganga.” You don’t need to SAY it. (Note: I have No Beef with Stoner Doom Per Se, as I think SLEEP is Outstanding and Transcendent. They got it Really Right.)  Also I should probably talk about Candlemass and so-called “Classic” Doom too. For some reason my mind recently wanted to compare and contrast Candlemass and Crowbar. In the sense that each is not super-sub-differentiated Doom; they are both straightforward Riff Machines of Big, Catchy, Super-Heavy, Sorta Slowish Riffs that build into great songs. But all that other doom stuff is another day’s discussion; Today, I am honouring SKEPTICISM.

“The March And The Stream” at a Doom Superconcert in A Church, gotta put that in here too!

1337 Words. Heh Heh. 1337.

Teasers: in addition to Doom-related Candlemass and Crowbar talk, I’d still like to hold some attention on Finnish Metal, this time Death(ish) Metal, namely Very Old Sentenced and Very Old Amorphis. Not “kinda” old, but old-old. Old-School Death Metal Old.  (SOTP album cover comparison)

Overlap between Doom and Black Metal, In My Perspective. Doomy Black Metal? Black Doom Metal? Depressive Suicidal Black Metal? vs Doomy & Slow Non-Suicidal Black Metal? Black Metal With Doom Riffs, Doom Metal With Black Riffs, Nortt, (Bethlehem?), but espec The Ruins of BEVERAST. Maybe I’m just bored with the New Burzum Album, but I’m taking a Little break from Black Metal and I don’t mind. A smidgen of Old-School Death Metal in there too, which is not altogether not raw or doomy. Autopsy is a fine example of one of Those Bands I would have liked to listened to more during my Tastemaking Formative Years.  1521 words, hahahaha.

It seems my Long-Awaited End Of “Educational & Career-Helping” Classes has influenced my Lazy Choice to Blog/Write More, when the WHOLE POINT was to use this time to Improve Career More. LAZINESS IS A MORTAL SIN.

This is absolutely a $30 post. And that last one I said was $20 – that was probably $30 too. So despite being Lazy, the good news is, I’ve already produced 60 Theoretical Dollars Worth Of Product as a Quasi-Freelance Writer!

1731 words. Next post will be closer to 1250. Then 1000.

Not sure if I will make metal/music posts a Regular Thing. If I had Another Blog this would go on there. Heck Yesterday I got Kinda Anxious and thought about SHUTTING DOWN both this new blog AND Twitter!

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