Had a TERRIFYING dream (nightmare) recently in which sinners were punished-to-death IN CHURCH as part of the “mass”, in front of the congregation, lorded over by really sinister, sadistic, evil, serious, grim judge-like priests/inquisitors. Everyone was pretty well-dressed, well-spoked, & serious, and the deaths were VERY graphic, VERY Painful, VERY torturous. The one I remember was, the “evil” sinners were made to drink burning, boiling acid, destroying their esophagous and stomach and whatnot, then they would vomit it all over themselves, burning whatever parts of the body it touched; blinded by pain and terror, they would fall to their knees to beg for mercy and begin crawling upwards a kind of slippery-slope conveyor belt covered in slippery mud, climbing up but always slipping down, until the ramp suddenly ended and bounced them into a huge propeller-like blade, circulur, whirring blades, just very huge and very sharp, where they’d plunge headfirst and be sliced into thin slices and come out as a heap of bloody slices at the other end.

The priests warned this may be graphic, and the smell of burning flesh and vomit and death might become very strong and we in the congregation might become sick. But it’s for your own good. These evil sinners were getting what they deserved, and if we didn’t behave, we’d be in an even more creatively, horrifyingly sadistic execution NEXT time, to serve as an example & deterrent.

I was a young child and was sitting next to my mother in the congregation. The church was ornate but also dim and sinister and scary. I was terrified that people were being TORTURED TO DEATH IN CHURCH, right in front of me. I WAS Allowed to cover my eyes, which I did very forcefully to block out EVERYTHING, however, the portent of the Wafting Fumes Of Burning Vomitous Death were not as avoidable, or the horrible screams of the damned. I covered my eyes well before the proceedings began but was very anxious awaiting signals from smell and sound that things had begun. I was crying and panicking. I was worried I would be called up to join the Damned as I had not been a very good boy that week, kinda a selfish d!ck. I did not get any comfort from my mother, which was out of character, which made me think, uh oh, she’s on the church’s side. This dais of priest/judge/inquistors, a bunch of grim old men who definitely got-off on the torture but in a very grim, serious, unsmiling way. I couldn’t believe we were a part of this sick cult. However the level of organization and “professionalness” indicated that it was much more than just a “cult”. Basically it was an Inquisition-era Catholic Church X 9000.

Miraculously I survived, did not get called up. I begged gratitude to god in a very fearful, supplicating way, knowing full well if I didn’t act PERFECT, I would be NEXT, and it would NOT be quick and painless.

For the next week the children went through a series of Morality Programs, Games, School, Education, where we were PROBABLY being graded on How Well We Did The Right Thing, and if you got below a certain threshhold, it was hellish torturedeath for you. I think that was the thing, to portray an actual re-creation of Hell Itself as part of the Mass Ceremony. Because it was pretty well-engineered sadistic torture.

I went into the Education Programs with the best of intentions, a fearful supplicating attitude, I was desperate to do very well, but I kept making stupid, unintentional mistakes, prob because I was so nervous. I could tell I was SLIPPING, and if I didn’t stop making stupid nervous mistakes, I’d be tortured to death next week in an even worse way.

Interpretation: Pretty straightforward on the surface. BUT this is not how I feel about the Church Now, and not really how I felt about the Church during my Anti-Church period, not even when I went to “scary” Catholic school as a child. Some of it was a LITTLE weird, but nothing like THAT. I certainly wasn’t constantly afraid of death and torture and hell and damnation. So I’m not sure where the dream came from. Bottom line, it was Scary As F00k, and I was for once glad to not be sleeping & to be tired if it meant not being in that nightmare. Had to write it down, because this will prob be one of the Top 4 Nightmares Of 2012, hahahahaha.

I am interested in dreams and nightmares and used to discuss them on the Old Blog. Would like to still discuss them, just only half as much so as not to be a navelgazer. I get really vivid stuff that would make GREAT movies, in this case, a really scary horror movie. So I might recycle the dreams into Movie Ideas at some point, cuz they are WAY more creative & interesting than anything I come up with while awake.

Not insanely attracted to Wimminz any more, still wanna bang as many & as attractive as possib OF COURSE, but overall libido seems declined. But I saw a girl who I immediately took notice like a live wire. A solid 7.5 or 8. NATURALLY she was YOUNG, early 20s at oldest, and this came through most in her Nice Cute Face – glasses (nonhipster) and No Makeup and Overall Skin Quality: sorta Pale/White ie No Tanning, But this real CLEAN, RADIANT look to her Young White Skin. So Smooth, So Clean, So Young, getting aroused just looking at the SKIN of her ARMS. So couple that with overally youth, cute nice face, no artificial superfluities, and I wanted to bang like a raging animal. Liked the sense of innocence and HONESTY. Like here’s just a Normal Young Girl in the Peak Of Natural Beauty.

Instantly got the impression that “she’s a NAWALT, one of the Good Girls, THIS is the kinda girl you COMMIT to” and I felt all Chivalrous and White Knight and Gentlemanly and Respectful, rather than “Oh lookee, another Filthy 4555preading Pig For My Rotation! Another Lousy Wh0re who’s been filled-up with 9000 C0x, what’s one more!” It was interesting to get such an immediate, strong, decisive reaction. I got the impression that she was the GF of another young man at her table. He looked like an OK guy, but I was still a bit jealous of him. She seemed Rare and Different. Could not forget about her for the rest of the day!

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